The avuncular firefighter Cooper (Josh Hartnett) escorts his daughter Riley (Ariel Donaghue) to her favourite pop star’s stadium concert. Once there he notices the doors and locked and guarded by the police force, while officers conduct checks and searches on all of the men inside. It is all a trap, one intended to capture a serial killer on the premises, and an increasingly desperate Cooper is the killer for whom they are looking.

Trap, the most recent thriller by writer/director M. Night Shyamalan, is a ridiculous film. That, in itself, is not a problem. Many of my favourite movies are deeply ridiculous and improbable, and all the more entertaining for it. Something that is a small problem is that Trap is also as dumb as the proverbial bag of hammers. A sly acknowledgement of how unlikely the narrative becomes would do wonders for its entertainment value. Instead Shyamalan creates a genuinely big problem: Trap is a stupid film, but it thinks it is smart.

It is a staggering combination since it means that the more improbable and unbelievable Shyamalan’s story becomes, the straighter it plays it. By the extended – and, it should be noted, painfully so – climax, successive story turns come with such gravitas that one imagines its maker peeking through the curtains and waiting for applause. It is nonsense, and for the most part it is particularly humourless nonsense. Comedy never was M. Night’s creative strength, and while Hartnett makes some effort to embrace the ludicrousness of the piece it really feels he is working on his own. Ariel Donaghue is rock-solid as his enthused pop-loving daughter. Hayley Mills is strikingly out of place as an FBI profiler tracking Cooper down: she never looks the part and does not get much to actually do.

Looming over the entire film is aspiring pop star Saleka in the role of the film’s fictional musical talent Lady Raven – a generic stand-in for the kind of stadium act young teenage girls get excited by. Her songs are derivative and bland, and it is difficult to work out if their generic nature is intentional or accidental. As the film progresses into its third act she unexpectedly shifts into a leading role.

A look at her back catalogue reveals a single album, independently released and online only, and songs contributed to Shyamalan’s film Old and streaming series Servant. She is, of course, Shyamalan’s daughter in an obvious and crass case of nepotism. On the one hand, I don’t blame her father for wanting to support and encourage his child’s artistic pursuits. On the other, there’s a sinking feeling throughout the film that Saleka Night Shyamalan is the core reason why Trap exists at all. She dominates the background of the film’s first two acts, and then her character weirdly takes over the entire production for the climax. Her younger sister Ishana, got a film to direct (The Watchers) with her father producing, so I suppose it is fair that the elder sister gets a film as well. If only all fathers could afford to be so generous.

I go hot and cold on Shyamalan. His 2000 thriller Unbreakable remains my favourite among his works. Trap is certainly a long distance in quality from that.